


Ruin Me, Please

by eruriotica (minxiebutt)



Series: Kinktober 2018 [1]
Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Aftercare, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Sugar Daddy, Asphyxiation, Begging, Bondage, Consensual Kink, Daddy Kink, Dirty Talk, Edgeplay, Emetophilia, Face Slapping, Face-Fucking, Fluff, Humiliation, Impact Play, Kinktober 2018, M/M, Masochism, Meeting online then meeting in real life, Online Dating, Praise Kink, Sadism, Sensory Deprivation, Spanking, Sugar Daddy Erwin Smith, Tenderness, degradation kink, lots of ‘consensual abuse’ that falls under Sadism and Masochism, straitjackets, the kink tags look scary but Erwin is very soft to Levi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-24
Updated: 2018-10-24
Packaged: 2019-08-06 19:40:37
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,323
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16393940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/minxiebutt/pseuds/eruriotica
Summary: Levi spends a month as a sadist's sugar baby.





	Ruin Me, Please

**Author's Note:**

> i needed to indulge myself okay

Grasping the straps of his backpack with sweaty hands, Levi walks toward Erwin. In the crowd like this, Levi hasn’t been spotted yet, and Erwin is scanning for him in the opposite direction, the one Levi was supposed to come from but somehow he got terribly turned around. He’s okay with that, because he gets a few interrupted seconds to study the real life man that he’s only ever seen on screens as he makes his way over. Sneakily, he slinks up beside Erwin and tries his best to casually say, “Hey.” His voice shakes, much like his hands.

Erwin looks down at him with surprise on his face and Levi smiles up at him, feeling excitedly devious. Draping an arm over the smaller boy’s shoulders, Erwin replies, equally casual, “Hey. How was your flight?”

“Good.” Levi licks his lips out of nervousness and then tucks them together between his teeth when Erwin’s eyes dart down to his mouth. He can feel his nostrils flare with the deep breath he takes, and he doesn’t understand why it embarrasses him for Erwin to see how affected he is by all of this. He wants to seem cool and collected, too.

“Good,” Erwin echos, pulling Levi a little bit closer. It reminds him of the end of the conversation they had right before he boarded his flight. 

_ When you see me, touch me like you own me. _

“This is all I’ve got,” Levi says, hiking up his backpack a little bit more, just so he can wipe the sweat on his palms away inconspicuously.  _ Show me how you own me. _ He has to force himself to look away from Erwin, to keep from getting lost in those blue eyes. “I’m ready when you’re ready.”

The hand grasping Levi’s shoulder squeezes and the thumb rubs in a firm circle before sliding across Levi’s back to take his hand and twine their fingers. The ease of the contact makes Levi shiver. It’s overwhelmingly dominant.

_ Oh, my boy, I will. _

“Do you need to stop anywhere before we go to my apartment?” Erwin asks once they’re outside. Levi pulls his scarf up a little higher as he shakes his head. Erwin smiles at him and he feels like his heart must stop for a moment, electrified into arrest by the energy in the air around them. Everything they’ve talked about is literally within reach now.

Not that they’ve even talked much. They’d been trading messages for less than a month when Levi took up the offer, and that was only a couple weeks ago. For all he knows, he could be walking into a trap right now, never to be seen alive again, but Levi’s not had a lot of caution in the last few years. If someone ended his pitiful existence, they’d be doing him a favour. Maybe that’s how he ended up on that website. 

As they walk toward Erwin’s car, they make a few moments’ worth of small talk. Erwin keeps stealing glances and smiling, and Levi does the same. Sometimes their gazes meet and then they’re both grinning with disbelief, that sweet feeling of  _ You’re here, and I can’t believe you’re finally here. _ Sappy shit. Levi ignores his burning ears. 

Erwin’s apartment is small but well done, and he remembers the blonde mentioning before that he’s lived here for five years. Even after that much time, there’s no clutter, no dirt hiding in the corners. It’s clean, and it looks like clean is the norm, so that puts Levi at ease. He kicks off his shoes and bends to put them neatly by the door, and then lets his backpack rest on the floor.

Just like he did grabbing Levi’s shoulder, Erwin grabs the grip handle on Levi’s bag and carries it with him as he moves deeper into the apartment. Not knowing what to do with himself, Levi follows down what he guesses is the hallway, since the wide open space to his right is clearly the living room. They pass one doorway on the left that Levi can see is the kitchen, the next doorway which is the bathroom, and the final doorway, which Levi follows Erwin through, is the bedroom. 

It’s a big wide space, the outside corner of the apartment building, so Erwin gets to look out over the city through all the large windows that wrap around the bedroom. It makes Levi a little dizzy, but the windows don’t start for half a meter. Thank god they’re not all the way from floor to ceiling. The headboard to Erwin’s bed sits on the wall shared with the bathroom so that it faces the windows, and when Levi walks around it, he can see a smaller toddler bed right next to it, heavily laden with stuffed animals and plushies, a personal assortment of the animal kingdom in a variety of all colours and sizes. He smiles.

“Go ahead and unpack,” Erwin says, pointing low on the chest of drawers sitting in the corner between a door and the wall. “You’ll have the bottom drawer all to yourself.”

Levi nods, feeling his cheeks tingle. He only brought a few things, because Erwin has in mind a new wardrobe for Levi, and Levi owns nothing like that. These clothes will be for his off days, when he’s not submitting. 

“Do you want to rest at all?” Erwin asks from the edge of his bed.

“Nah. I’ll crash later, you know, to help with jet lag and time difference and whatever.” Levi stands and brushes off his knees. “I’m gonna use your bathroom.”

“Of course. If you go through the closet here, there’s a door.” Erwin points him in the right direction, the door that’s beside the dresser.

Levi snoops around Erwin’s bathroom for a moment before doing his business, washing his hands, and coming back to the bedroom. Erwin watches his movements with so much certainty that Levi is drawn toward him, inviting himself between spread knees and planting his hands on strong shoulders. “So. Erwin.”

“Levi.” Erwin brings his hands to Levi’s hips and gently twists him, guides him down to sit on a strong thigh. He can swing his legs like this, and he swallows back his delight as he loops his arms around Erwin’s neck. “If you’re going to sleep later, then let’s go out. I can show you around, get you those new clothes, and we can have dinner.”

“Yes, please,” Levi dares to say, in that breathy, soft voice of submission. Erwin’s answering smile is predatory.

-

“Another one of these,” Levi giggles, tilting his glass at Erwin across the table, words guarded from the public by a language barrier, “and you’re going to have to fuck me.”

Erwin raises a brow in satisfaction and waves down their waitress. “You didn’t say ‘please’.”

“Oh, right,” Levi murmurs. “Fuck me.  _ Please. _ ”

-

Levi hangs up the sweaters and long-sleeve dresses in the closet, and puts the delicate tights and lacy lingerie in his drawer of Erwin’s dresser. He rearranges the drawer twice before he’s satisfied with the layout of his things altogether, all the while overcome with the urge to strip down naked and crawl into Erwin’s huge bed in nothing but his skin, and that stubbornness of the urge makes him freeze with tension.

“What are you thinking of, my pretty little boy?” Erwin asks from where he sits on the edge of the bed, watching as Levi gets lacy panties put away neatly. 

Levi tries to shake off the tension and shrug, but he knows that Erwin is asking this for a good reason. So carefully, Levi pulls in a deep breath and answers slowly. “I am thinking… about taking off my clothes.”

“And?” Erwin prods. It’s not a harsh prodding, but a knowing one. He knows Levi isn’t disclosing the whole truth.

“And…” Levi chews his bottom lip between his teeth again. “And… getting in your bed.”

“Are you ready to be tucked in?” 

Without turning around, Levi shakes his head before he remembers himself. “No… Daddy.” The title is quiet and shy, but he can tell by the way Erwin inhales that he heard it, too.

“Do you want to get undressed, Levi?”

Levi looks over his shoulder at Erwin, and then lets his eyes trail down to land on the thick socks. It’s not cold in the apartment, but he’ll have all of his skin on display, and he still feels so uncertain about his body. At the same time, there’s more than enough alcohol in his brain.

“Yeah,” he finds himself saying. He knew he would have this burst of courage if he had those glasses of wine, and now that self-fulfilling prophecy manifests in the grip of his fingers at the hem of his sweater. “Yes, please.”

“Go ahead, beautiful boy.”

Levi turns around and pushes his drawer of the dresser closed, and then he stands, keeping his back to Erwin. He’s keenly aware of the stare on him as he lifts the garment over his head, but no one intercedes. There’s acne scarring all over his back, old stretch marks on his ass and thighs from his adolescent growth spurt, and though he wants to hunch his shoulders and hide, he keeps himself standing straight. Slowly, Levi creates the puddle on the floor around him, and when he’s ready, he turns around and presents himself. 

“Beautiful.” Erwin’s eyes find his, and Erwin offers him a gentle smile as he stands, closing the distance between them. Naked like this, Levi feels so much smaller, even more so when Erwin raises a hand and cups his cheek, thumb stroking over Levi’s parted lips twice before he lowers and kisses his mouth. 

-

In the morning, Levi rolls over and stretches, thoroughly pleased. He butts his forehead into Erwin’s warm mass and burrows down deeper into the blankets for a moment before opening his eyes. The sun is steadily rising, and Erwin is browsing something in boring black and white on his phone. 

He feels more than hears the “good morning” that rumbles through Erwin’s chest. Last night, he wasn’t anywhere near drunk enough that this morning, he wouldn’t remember how they fucked, and he smiles at the heated memory of being pushed down into pillows and folded in half with his knees up beside his ears. He aches inside, a pleasant dull reminder that he’ll feel all day while Erwin is gone.

“Morning,” Levi grumbles back. 

“Stay in bed today.” Erwin sits up over him, turning to look down and meet Levi’s upturned gaze where he’s half-hidden. “Shower and eat, but stay here until I get back.”

Levi chews on his bottom lip before nodding. “Yes, Daddy.”

“Wonderful.” Erwin smiles at him, leans to kiss his temple, then slides from bed to disappear in the bathroom. The sound of a shower lulls Levi back into slumber, and he next wakes around lunch time. He didn’t realise how tired he was from travelling until he had nothing better to do than sleep, and he’d absolutely crashed out. Figures. 

The apartment is cool, but the windows let in so much sunlight that the bedroom is rather toasty. Levi dares to leave bed with nothing but his thick socks, and he feels his legs break out in gooseflesh as soon as he’s in the hallway. He murmurs a swear to himself and rushes to the bathroom to empty his bladder. The shower feels good, he stays in longer than he has in years, and when he gets out, he foregoes clothing and goes to the kitchen wrapped in the towel.

Erwin’s left a list for him in English, so he ducks back into the bedroom to find his phone on the bedside table, and opens up his translation app to fill in the words he doesn’t know yet. It’s basically a permission slip, reaffirming that Levi can eat however much he wants from a list of selected foods that are all plant-based, but breads, meats, and sweets are for Erwin to give him. 

Levi makes tea and drinks it beside a rather colourful salad while the cleaning lady does her weekly business around the apartment. The force of his body wanting to rest after its hunger has been sated drives him back to bed, and he’s dozing with Erwin’s television on when the man comes home.

“Do you understand any of this, baby?” Erwin asks playfully, pointing to the television. 

Levi shakes his head and grins, happy that Erwin is back again. The man comes and sits on the edge of his bed, reaching back to pat Levi’s ass through the covers, nothing painful, but enough to make Levi moan with the fading ache of how good he got fucked last night. 

They reaffirm their previous negotiations over snacks, and Erwin adds in an extra Levi day, meaning that on Mondays and Fridays, there will be no total power exchange. Light play is optional. Levi is eager to wiggle down into the role. He’s anxious-excited for it, wants to wear it and revel in it, dissipate the roiling apprehensive newness. Levi’s need to be controlled and used coincides with Erwin’s need to control and abuse in such a way that Levi is antsy just thinking about it. 

Erwin kisses his forehead and takes him out to buy groceries, holding his hand the whole time. They’re driving back when Erwin suggests that Levi meet two of his friends.

“Mike’s a dominant, not a sadist,” Erwin explains. “He’s got a little mail order submissive who’s learning the language.”

“Mail order? Wait, like--?”

“Yes, somewhat like you, but she’s married to him,” Erwin interrupts. “Mike’s my closest friend, and my only one from childhood. You’ll be able to talk to him, and he doesn’t mind translating for his girl. Let’s have dinner with them, somewhere casual so you can try more American food.”

“As long as it’s a night where you’re in control,” Levi yields. He teases, playfulness hidden by his deadpan deliverance, “I don’t know if I can behave myself otherwise.”

-

Erwin said he should be home six minutes after the hour, and Levi’s a pretty boy perched in the entryway ten minutes early. He’s wearing a pair of fuzzy socks and one of the dresses, a soft lavender one that’s way too big, and it shows off one pebbled nipple when he lets the dress slip off his shoulder. The sleeves cover his hands with extra to spare, and he has the fabric bunched in his fists in his lap. 

When Erwin slots his key in the lock and lets himself in, exactly on time, Levi feels himself breaking into a smile. 

“Hello,” Erwin coos, closing the door and twisting the lock back in place without looking. He slips out of his coat and hangs it on a hook. “Aren’t you a pretty little pet.”

Levi puffs his chest up, preening. He remains in position as his man kneels to undo and remove his shoes, staying perched until Erwin pats the floor beside his planted knee, and then Levi shuffles forward, leaning his head down. Erwin pets him lightly before standing and turning to his left to enter the kitchen. Levi follows on hands and knees, and once Erwin has washed his hands, he gives Levi a real rough petting that ends with his grasp flirting around Levi’s neck. It’s a hold that he could easily slip out of, but instead, he pushes deeper in. 

“Oh,” Erwin murmurs, then says something in English too fast for Levi to understand. 

Levi lets out a small whine and relaxes, his weight held by Erwin’s hand around his throat for a blissful moment, and then Erwin is squeezing his vessels just enough for Levi to feel instinctively afraid before his trust overrides. It’s probably stupid for him to have so much faith in Erwin— to come here, to a foreign country where he doesn’t understand the language, without telling anyone, to agree to give Erwin the free use of his body… 

His thoughts begin to narrow down and fizzle out, too lightheaded now to care what he’s doing here and how he got here, caring only that Erwin is looking at him like he’s so  _ fucking precious _ —

Erwin’s fingertips ease up and Levi gasps with the rush of blood and oxygen assaulting him, and he swears he is on the cusp of orgasm in that moment. He’s barely drawn his third full breath when Erwin is kneeling before him again, running his hands through Levi’s hair, petting him, praising him, “God, you beautiful boy, you sweet little boy, you don’t even know how beautiful you are.”

It’s a short distance from where they are beside the sink to the dining table, but Erwin carries him regardless, and sets him down on a ridiculously large, cozy pillow, continuing to pet him and tell him what a good boy he is. Levi smiles, basking a little uncertainly in the words, believing them more when Erwin brings him a plate with a sweet treat, something that resembles a doughnut but with a few embellishments. 

Without using hands, Levi takes a bite and is rewarded with a burst of chocolate and caramel, and he moans his appreciation for the treat. It tastes so good that he ravenously scarfs down the whole thing in a few bites, and when he’s done, Erwin is setting down a shallow bowl of milk in exchange for the empty plate. Carefully now, Levi laps up the milk, then slurps it little bits at a time until the bowl is also empty. He doesn’t realise Erwin has left the kitchen until the man comes back, wearing something more casual now. 

He gives Levi one very slow praise in English,  _ “Good boy.” _

Levi beams, having understood that one the first time. 

Spending the night in, cuddled in Erwin’s lap on the couch and watching television, Levi feels absolutely spoiled rotten with the way Erwin keeps bringing his hand around Levi’s throat and giving brief, nonthreatening squeezes, more like playful reminders, like flirting, than anything less affectionate. It makes him press his knees together and hide his face, but Erwin nips at Levi’s ears and purrs for him to continue being a good boy, so Levi surrenders.

-

The second day alone is the hardest, and he doesn’t have to push himself to stay wrapped up in blankets on his bed with all the stuffed animals. He wastes a few hours on his phone, until he only picks it up to unlock it, look at the home screen, and lock it again, on repeat. Levi rolls out of bed, his comforter around his shoulders like protective armour, and goes to feed himself but nothing looks appetizing, so he wanders to the living room and flops over into the sofa. He lays there until he figures he should go back to bed, and he will lay in bed for about ten minutes before repeating the entire process all over again. 

At noon, he messages Erwin.  _ Streetlight. I feel like shit. _

It takes a few minutes to get a response from Erwin, but once that first comes through, Levi knows the safeword has captured Erwin’s whole attention. 

_ Physically or mentally? _

_ Mentally. I’m restless and feel like I’m shit. _

A few moments after he sends that, his screen lights up with Erwin’s photo and an incoming call. Levi might usually feel good about it, about being prioritised so highly, but he’s not doing great like that today, and instead he feels overwhelmingly guilty for taking Erwin’s focus from his work. 

“Hey,” Levi answers, his voice one rough patch. 

“Hey,” Erwin says softly. For a minute, Erwin touches basis with him, checking on him, really, and then asks Levi if he needs today to also be an off day. 

“No,” Levi insists. He feels like a stupid piece of shit, but not because he wants pity. Maybe just the opposite. “No. I’m just really unfocused.”

Erwin makes him a promise with a warning, a scene that will give Levi’s restlessness a focal point, something to benefit them both.

-

With nothing but a pair of socks, Levi greets Erwin that night. Erwin shuts his door and locks it quietly, but that’s the only gentle thing about him. As soon as they’re shut in safely from the outside world, Erwin puts the sole of his polished wingtip right into Levi’s chest and knocks him on his back. 

The air rushes from his lungs, and Levi doesn’t even have the chance to catch his breath because Erwin plants that shoe square on his sternum and stands over him, pressing him down into the rug. Unbidden, Levi’s hands come to grasp the ankle before his trust takes over and he lets his arms fall back limply to the floor. 

“Look at you,” Erwin says, dripping with an intense malice that makes Levi want to shy back and hide. It makes him feel ashamed of himself, of the trouble he causes, and maybe Erwin can read that in his face, because even though his tone is dark and dangerous, he says, “God, you’re a disgusting, pretty, little slut. I’m going to wreck you.”

It’s the only warning Levi gets before Erwin brings his full weight onto Levi’s body, one foot secure in his chest, the other on his pelvis, making Levi gasp with a giddy, fearful excitement. His hands come back to Erwin’s ankle, but this time, they caress appreciatively as Levi nods, words unavailable to him. But he knows that Erwin doesn’t need him to speak. Nonverbal communication is enough between them. 

Levi keeps a sharp keen locked behind his grinding teeth as Erwin drags him unceremoniously by his hair. Sliding along the floor rubs him raw on his back, but he doesn’t fight too much, trying not to inspire more ire in the man who holds his well being in a tight fist. In the bedroom, Erwin drops Levi by the foot of the bed, and the boy only has a moment to rub at his sore scalp before Erwin is wrenching his hands up over his head and securing them in something snug. When Levi looks, he sees a pair of padded leather cuffs, fastened to be just over the side of too tight. 

Erwin takes one of Levi’s ankles and jerks him, and Levi realises then that the cuffs are connected to a heavy chain almost two meters long, anchored down into a reinforced part of the bed frame, which is so solid that Levi knows he won’t be going anywhere anytime soon. His heart pounds with equal parts anticipation, excitement, and fear.

“You’re just so beautiful, Levi,” Erwin murmurs, only competing to be heard against Levi’s heavy breathing. He stands at the windows, looking down at Levi as he walks over to the dresser begins to remove his professional attire piece by piece. “I want to enjoy your body. I want to destroy it and cover myself with your blood.”

Levi flexes his fists and squirms, affected by the words.

“I’m going to open your skin on my crops and paddles, beat you with my bare hands until you’re too weak and exhausted to cry. And then I’m going to drown you and put you out of your misery, you needy piece of shit.”

Levi presses his knees together and rolls onto his side. He whines, can’t help it. Adrenaline is coursing through him now.

Erwin keeps good on his promise. The warm-up he gives Levi’s backside is brief and barely enough, and then he’s digging into him, raising welts that burst and split, the resounding slaps of the heavy paddle becoming muddy with the wetness. Then Erwin moves on to narrower toys, things that drive a divine stinging so deep into Levi’s body that he feels he is simply one all-consuming throb of pain. After long enough, Levi can only gauge how long he’s been laid here at Erwin’s mercy based on the number of bloodied instruments that are laid neatly on the bed, side by side with handles hanging over the edge. Time distorts itself in an attempt to ease Levi’s pain, and when he looks up to count seven handles, he finds a small burst of happiness sprouting up within him.

When ten handles hang off the edge of the bed, Erwin drags Levi by his hair and lays into him with fists that make him whimper and see stars and fall so close to the inviting arms of small oblivion.

A hot dowsing brings him back up, a violent gasp. Hands on his throat holding him under the water, and even though his heart beats wildly frightened within his chest, Levi slides his shaking hands around strong wrists and holds on with trust.

When Erwin brings him back up above the water, Levi sucks in air like a man resuscitated. He finds Erwin’s blue eyes and holds their gaze as he finds his rhythm for breathing again, and Erwin coos at him softly, encourages him to relax down again, letting Levi stare into him, stare through him, the unique bond born of a heavy scene sealing between them.

“Come up slowly, baby,” Erwin sings. “Slowly, now, you’re alright.”

Levi tries to stammer something incoherent, with what words, he doesn’t even know, but Erwin shakes his head.

“Slowly, baby. You didn’t say a word the whole time, you don’t need to talk now.” Erwin cups his cheek in one hand, pets him in the other. Levi’s still a gasping, waterlogged mess, halfway out of the bath and held up only by Erwin. “Shhh, there you go. I’m here, baby. I’m here, and you did so wonderful. You’re so beautiful, Levi.”

_ Am I really?  _ Levi wants to ask. But even that one startlingly clear thought vanishes within a moment, lost in the roar of his near-hyperventilation. Erwin keeps singing to him, holding him, giving him eye contact, but Levi can’t yet find that quiet calm that he needs. 

“Come on, baby angel,” Erwin encourages him, pulling him out from the bath. “Let’s dry you off and put you in bed.”

Levi has no say in the matter, but even if he did, he would agree to it. Even though Erwin must be exhausted from the scene, he handles Levi carefully, getting him dry and bundling his naked body onto the big bed. Erwin tosses up some stuffed animals and tucks them tight around Levi, who can only watch, whimpering and weak and still on the verge of panic. At some point of Erwin petting him and promising him that he’s a good sweet boy, oblivion takes him.

The panic snatches him shortly after.

All traces of the sun have vacated the sky, and the lights twinkling are artificial. The room smells faintly of a cleaning solution, and worst of all, it’s empty and dark. The realisation that he is alone makes Levi scramble to get up and out of the bed, and he underestimates how weak his body is, because he falls and lands on his side on the floor. His crash is loud enough to ring in his ears.

Levi doesn’t know whether he lays there crying for a moment or for a lifetime, scratching at himself, pulling on his skin, but the door opens and light spills into his despair like a life preserver. 

“Levi,” Erwin says, and suddenly he’s there hovering over him, hands ghosting over him, sharp eyes taking in the dishevelled boy writhing in panic beneath him. “Levi, baby, you’re going to be alright, you’re having your drop.”

Levi nods before he realises that’s what he’s doing, before he even realises quite that Erwin is right. It’s been so long since he’s had a scene heavy enough to give him this kind of drop, and now with a name, the panic seems so much more easy to defeat. He knows it will pass, and though it might claw at him, it won’t stay forever. For a moment upon seeing the heavy canvas and leather straps, Levi forgets that he’s told Erwin about this particular need. 

With tender hands that make Levi mewl, Erwin straps him into the straitjacket and Levi shifts, testing the firm boundary for an agitated moment, then he falls limp suddenly in Erwin’s arms. 

“Good boy,” Erwin sings again. He runs his hand through black hair splayed in his lap. “Good, so good, relaxing for me, calming down for me. So good, Levi. You’re so precious, my sweet little.”

Closing his eyes, Levi forces himself to breath deeply and let himself be wrapped in the praises. Beyond his own panic, Levi can feel how loose Erwin is. Their scene has smoothed him out in a certain way, and as Levi begins to understand that he’s serving his purpose for Erwin, allowing his body to be sacrificed for the sake of Erwin’s stress relief, Levi finds a more permanent pleasure overcoming him, pushing him back down into a more restful sleep.

-

Levi wakes up an hour later, and this time, he’s in the dim bedroom with Erwin. The television volumed has been muted in favour of captioning, and the heat running along his backside tells Levi that he’s being spooned. As he shifts, Erwin’s hand comes to rest on his belly.

“Are you with me this time?” Erwin asks, a low rumble right in Levi’s ear. 

He doesn’t feel like he can speak yet, so he nods. He can hear a buckle being undone, and then the straitjacket loosens. Erwin’s hands are soft promises against him. “I’m going to sit you up, my sweet.” 

With help, Erwin gets him to the bathroom to empty his bladder and then carries him like a child to the kitchen. Erwin spoonfeeds Levi some rice and fish with the boy nestled up in his lap. 

-

For the rest of the work week, Erwin is considerate of Levi’s recovery. Wednesday morning, Levi wakes up to Erwin’s kisses. Even though the rules are still in place, Erwin says that Levi has a special treat in the kitchen, something sweet to eat for his breakfast whenever he feels like getting up out of bed. The day alone passes in dreamless recuperation.

That night, they go out for dinner so that Levi can get a little fresh air. Thank goodness for the cool weather, because Levi can cover his bruising with black tights and a dusty mauve turtleneck dress that practically swallows him. The only little bits of his skin on display are his face and hands, and he carefully minds his sleeves so that the galaxies on his wrists remain hidden. Erwin takes him to eat proper, greasy American pizza, declaring that they won’t leave until Levi pops. Levi doesn’t know how intense his appetite is until he smells the first waft when Erwin holds the establishment’s door open for him, and he finds his eyes widening at all the possibilities. With a kiss to his hair, Erwin says that he can order whatever he wants. When they slide into a hot bath together late that night, Erwin rubs at the bulge of his stomach and smiles and says that he’s so glad to have a baby boy like him. Happily, Levi slides into Erwin’s lap, claiming lips for dessert.

Thursday, Levi gets up and makes Erwin breakfast. His body is sore but not as bad as before, and his mind is a restless whirl, so incredibly anxious that he needs to do something physical to alleviate it. To help with the feelings, Erwin prints out colouring and activity pages, then assigns Levi a small stack of children’s books to read in English. It does the job of occupying Levi’s mind until Erwin comes home. After a light spanking, a punishment for Levi not greeting Erwin at the door, they have a quiet night in, curled up in bed together with Erwin’s laptop, watching youtube and shopping online while drinking hard cider. Erwin reads a bedtime story, and then with his boy tucked into his little bed with all his stuffed animals, he eats Levi’s ass until he cries and cums and sinks down, sleepily satisfied.

-

After having an off day, Saturday morning feels especially intense. Levi studies his bruises in the bathroom mirror. They’ve peaked and will soon start to fade, something that gives him a little melancholy until he remembers that he’s got plenty of time to get more bruises, let those fade, and get even more after that. He’s not yet been here for a week. There’s a few more weeks to follow.

“Have you already done what you need to do?” Erwin asks suddenly from the doorway, making Levi jump back. 

“Yes, Daddy.” He lowers his eyes to the floor and brings his hands together behind his back, but a stronger hand wrenches his chin up and before he can speak, Erwin slaps him. Levi’s disoriented for a moment, and when the stars clear from his vision, he’s bent over the sink, gasping. 

“Listen to yourself, you disgusting boy.”

Levi nods and only then does he realise that there are little moans tainting his exhales. He likes this. He likes being abused. 

Erwin’s hand comes around his throat, pushing Levi up and back until he’s slammed against the wall behind him. “God, listen to you. You just want to spread your legs right now, don’t you?”

Levi gasps, the air he’s allowed isn’t enough. But he nods regardless. He searches for Erwin’s eyes and holds onto them as the edges of his vision blacken, as the hands holding Erwin’s trespassing wrist loosen. The moment that Erwin releases him, Levi drops into a heap on the tiles, crawling forward to nestle between bare feet, needing some contact to ease his fright. The hand that slapped him and choked him comes down and cards through his hair, and so Levi moans in earnest, wanting Erwin to hear how much he enjoys this, how much he really does want to spread his legs for the man that meets his fucked-up needs. Turning his head, Levi kisses Erwin’s right foot, then the ankle, too. 

Erwin grabs his hair and yanks, pulling Levi up as his scalp screams. Levi’s face scrunches up and he can hear how much pleasure laces his pained noises. “Get up, slut, and suck my cock.”

Levi scrambles to obey, getting up on his knees, letting his mouth drop open as he pulls Erwin’s boxers down. He settles his hands on Erwin’s hips to steady himself, but it’s displeasing to the man above him, because he slaps Levi again with a stern order of, “Don’t fucking touch me, you dirty cockslut.”

Whining, Levi nods. He settles his hands on his own thighs, fingers spread and gripping, his mouth hanging stupidly open as he presses his face into Erwin’s groin. It’s Erwin who touches now, framing Levi’s face and controlling him, using his mouth and head like a penetrable toy, skull fucking him without a single regard for whether Levi can handle it. The whining boy tolerates it for as long as he can, but the assault on his gag reflex overwhelms him. 

All he’s had yet this morning is a glass of water, and when his stomach empties itself onto the bathroom tiles, it’s clear and easy. It’s not much, but it’s enough for him to feel his face burning with humiliation. 

“You’re worthless,” Erwin spits, spits on Levi. “Clean this shit up.”

Levi rushes to comply, on his hands and knees, in his peripherals watching Erwin jerking off while leaning against the sink. Tears sting in his eyes but his mind is quiet and blessedly clear, only filled with a warm feeling of happiness that Erwin is misusing him this way. Just as he’s finished wiping up his vomit with a towel, Erwin gruffly orders, “Come here and open your mouth.”

They moan in unison as Erwin cums onto Levi’s waiting tongue, their gazes locked until a ripple races through him and he closes his eyes, letting his head fall back. Levi swallows. 

-

Introductions are a little bit rocky in the lobby of a buffet place. Back at home, Levi doesn’t have any friends. He’s a solitary creature, largely unknown even to those closest to him. He dusts off his social skills with his Daddy’s help.

Mike’s girl, Nanaba, takes a keen interest in Levi, and while he starts off mildly annoyed, he realises that the two of them benefit from talking. She’s the only person he now knows who has done what he’s done-- turned an online relationship into something in real life. Met a guy online and within a couple months, met him in person, fucked him, submitted to him wholly. And the fact that she’s been with Mike for several years now, more time spent in successful long-distance than not, Levi wonders if there’s an ulterior reasoning for him to meet them.

-

Driven down into a more animal part of his brain by their intense power dynamic over the weekend, Levi barely speaks. He’s just a possession, a thing, a toy, existing to be used, and he’s so fucking happy like that. He’s happy to let Erwin order him around, control him, pushing and pulling him around like a ragdoll, telling him what to eat and when to eat it, when to shower and sleep and shit. 

He wears jeans for the first time in over a week, on his off day after the weekend. He slips on his shoes and jacket, wraps the scarf high enough to hide his mouth. He won’t need words today. They don’t do him any good here, anyway. The wallet Erwin gave him sits beside Levi’s spare key, and he grabs them so that he can go out. 

He comes back just after Erwin with an overflowing reusable bag of groceries. Erwin is on the sofa, only halfway out of his work clothing as if he got distracted, and he looks over as Levi enters, smiling, greeting softly, “Hey. How was your outing?”

Levi nods, licking his lips. “Good. I got stuff to make you dinner.”

“Oh.” Erwin’s eyes sparkle, his smile crinkling in the corners. Something about this is so domestic, so fucking normal, Levi has to turn away to keep from grinning like an idiot. 

“Before you ask, it’s a surprise.” Levi kicks off his shoes and uses his hallux to straighten them up. He walks through the door to his left to drop the groceries on the counter, then comes back to the coat rack to hang up his outerwear. Back in the kitchen, he puts everything away until it’s time to cook, and then he goes to join Erwin.

“Hey,” Levi invites himself into Erwin’s lap, and the blonde makes way. With hands on Erwin’s shoulders, Levi leans down and gently kisses below his ear. “How was your day, Daddy?”

Erwin hums and locks his phone before putting it down and turning his whole attention onto Levi, hands coming to squeeze Levi’s ass through his jeans, playing with the handfuls. “It’s suddenly better.”

“How can I make it the best?” Levi purrs through an embarrassed smile and continues kissing, finding stubble and shyly licking. 

“You already have,” Erwin confesses. He shakes Levi’s globes in unison, and then juggles them. “I get kisses from such a handsome boy who’s all mine, and then he wants to cook me dinner? I’m the luckiest man, Levi, thank you.”

Levi shrugs. He doesn’t know what to do with the praise right now, with the genuinity of it. It’s startling, how Erwin speaks with such assurance, as if he can possibly measure and confirm that, yes, he is the luckiest man. That’s the kind of confidence Levi’s always lacked. Seeing it on Erwin, the ease of it, he thinks that maybe with enough time, he could start to believe it.

Devious, fingertips flirt with the space on his skin right above the waist of his jeans. When Levi pushes his ass up and back, the fingers frontrun for hands that slide underneath, grasping hard enough to bruise. Levi gasps, buries his face in the warm skin he was just kissing.

“You like that?” Erwin asks, low and dark, but still only a shadow of the sadistic cruelty that he indulges in on their power exchange days. 

“I do.” Levi shudders, wanting Erwin to hear how quickly he’s affected.

“I want to be inside you,” Erwin says, turning so that his mouth is at Levi’s ear, lips brushing with every word. “I want to make you moan my name--  _ god, _ you sound so gorgeous when you’re moaning my name, Levi. When you’re close and you get all breathy? I love that. I love when you’re on the edge for me. I want to have you squeezing around me, milking my cock. I want to fill you with my cum, feed that little cumslut hole of yours.”

Levi squirms with a shiver. Heat is pooling low in his abdomen, and he can’t ignore the instincts demanding him to grind down needily on Erwin’s belly to show how good those words sound. “What are you waiting for?”

-

Levi’s bruises depart just in time for his second weekend. This time, he expects the physical intensity, so Friday night, he asks quietly to be put in the straitjacket as preemptive selfcare. As they’re laying on the sofa together, Levi’s head in Erwin’s lap, Erwin’s hands stroking as he details tomorrow night’s scene, Levi manages to find enough calm to quiet his nerves. 

In the bath, Erwin turns Levi to face him with hands gentle like lullabies. He cups Levi’s cheeks, thumbs skirting over acne scars and texture, but still, he tells Levi that he’s beautiful as if he honestly believes it, too. 

-

Erwin straps him back into the straitjacket again the next morning, ungodly early hour on the clock. Levi sits on the edge of the bed, his legs dangling down as he kicks his feet. “How’s this feel?”

Levi tests it, trying to wiggle and finding a little bit of give. 

Erwin taps his finger to one buckle. “Tighter?” 

“Please,” Levi nods. “Swaddle me up, Daddy.”

Erwin chuckles and bends, reaching around to immobilise Levi even further. When he only has enough give to comfortably breathe and nothing else, then he’s happy. 

“Let’s take away your hearing now.” Erwin smiles. It distracts Levi as his world goes silent. That mouth moves, but Levi hears nothing, and Erwin smiles again, tilting his chin up to kiss him. Levi doesn’t dare close his eyes, his last lifeline to the world around him, so he sees the way Erwin watches him through their kiss. 

Levi wants to speak, but he has no idea what to say. The uncertainty must be clear in his face, because he can see Erwin reading him. Those large hands that have hurt him in so many ways come up to tenderly hold his face; thumbs stroke over his cheeks and Levi forces himself to relax down into this touch. The straitjacket is steadfast, the comfort of its boundaries radiates to soothe Levi’s animal reflexes, makes him feel safe and sound. 

When the hands disappear, Levi remains relaxed. Erwin holds up the implement that will take away his sight, holds it up in the space between them, waiting for Levi to be ready and push himself forward to accept. With a nods, Levi lets his world go black. The loss of his vision sends his skin tingling, his brain wanting to skyrocket with anxiety but being unable to do that because of the swaddle. Levi feels Erwin laying him back on the bed, one hand supporting Levi’s head as he pushes him back slowly. 

Levi sinks down into the sensory deprivation with guiding hands caressing him, floating over his skin. The longer he lays here in oblivion, the more sensitive his skin becomes, hyperaware of his surroundings to make up for the loss of his eyes and ears. It’s like Erwin knows exactly what’s going on his Levi’s head, because the hands gradually feel lighter and lighter, until they’re spider walking on the fine hairs of his body before disappearing altogether. Thoroughly calmed, Levi drifts, falls down the rungs of consciousness and into the slower brainwaves, finding the open arms of the void enveloping him until he’s not sure he’ll ever come back up from this man-made death. 

But he does come back up, just a bit. 

He can feel shifting in the air around him, and though nothing touches him, the phantom sensation sends his skin into goose flesh. He can’t even hear himself inside his head when his mouth falls open in a gasp. He has no idea how loud he’s being. 

Something warm and inhuman introduces itself to his right hip, and another on his left hip, gripping him and turning him over onto his stomach. Levi turns his head to the side to breathe, feeling instead of hearing the way he huffs out through his nose and moans. The touch feels like so much, but it’s not enough to send him back into the beta waves of his brain. He still feels dreamy, caught between the planes, the void eagerly hooking talons into him and holding him back. 

Knowing that he’s safe, knowing that it’s Erwin here with him, Levi ignores what’s happening to his body. He’s  _ aware, _ but only vaguely so, not actively taking in the sensations. The warm inhuman feelings are leather-gloved hands, he realises after however it takes for them to wander from his hips to his ass. As if he’s separate from himself, he can feel his globes being spread, he can feel the rumble in his own chest as he lets out another sound when a slick digit prods at him. He can feel his hips pushing back, his body instinctively demanding more of what makes it feel so good. 

Levi’s jaw drops open, and he finds himself one more rung up. He could peak into the beta waves if he wanted, all he would have to do is lift himself a little higher, and he’d be back in unison with his body. For a moment, he hesitates, feeling the unrefined reactions of his body and how they amplify the pleasure leaking into his limited awareness, mere droplets enough to drown him. He falls back down deeper again, instead.

An entire lifetime later, Erwin restores his sight, welcomes him back to the land of the living with gentle kisses. He’s still panting, covered in a layer of sweat, enough to drip off his forehead and land on Levi’s own. Lips form around unheard words.

Levi can feel where he’s puffy-eyed from crying, and when Erwin unstraps the straitjacket, Levi rushes to wipe the residues away. The last thing Erwin gives back is his hearing.

“How do you feel, baby?”

“Really good.” Levi’s voice is gravel, the knowledge that his throat feels scraped sore a slow learning. He tries to swallow, and Erwin rushes to push a glass of water against his lips.

“There, there, my sweet little, drink the whole thing.”

He’s a good boy, and then he manages to say, “Thank you.”

Erwin kisses him again then climbs onto the bed and spoons him. Levi can feel where lube and cum smear on his ass and thighs, and he must make a display of disgust because Erwin chuckles and promises, “We’ll shower soon. Let’s rest for a moment.”

“How was I?” Levi hides his face in the sheets.

“Feral,” Erwin replies like he’s in awe. “You were an animal and all you wanted was to be fucked hard and fast. I could’ve watched ten men plough you, and it wouldn’t have been enough, you little slut.”

The tenderness in the degradation tightens something in his chest, and Levi rolls just enough to look into satisfied blue eyes. “So you fucked me hard and fast?”

“Harder and faster than I’ve ever fucked before.” Erwin leans his forehead to touch Levi’s. There’s still some sweat, but it’s mostly sticky now. “I had you laying on your stomach over the foot of the bed, with your feet on the floor, and I held you down and had my wicked way with you.”

Levi groans and covers his face with his hands, hiding his smile. Erwin doesn’t stop describing it, continuing with, “And you were making the most beautiful noises. Moaning and broken, barely able to say my name.”

“I was barely conscious,” Levi defends. 

Erwin nuzzles into his nape. “Your body was so relaxed, too, that I could slip in and out. I fucked you with just the tip and you started screaming and grunting like a desperate whore.”

Shuddering, the noirette squirms, but large, hot hands on his belly settle him in place. “You were in animal with pleasure,” Erwin whispers into his ear, then lays a kiss that feels laced with something more serious. “Thank you, Levi. Your submission is something I cherish greatly.”

“Erwin,” he chokes out, just barely. He slips his hands beneath Erwin’s and twines their fingers. “Please hold me, Daddy.”

“I will, baby. I will.” And it sounds like Erwin knows that Levi’s request does not simply apply to only this moment. 

When they finally do get up, they shower separately, then make breakfast together. After an early morning scene, they’re both ravenous, and eat no less than three servings of toast, eggs, and fruit each. Levi serves Erwin’s coffee and sits in his lap, leaning his head on his shoulder, Erwin’s hand cupping the back of his skull to hold him in place.

-

They find a routine that satisfies them both, a divine oscillation between extreme cruelty and extreme kindness, spoilings split by punishments. Levi gives his body over for his Daddy’s pleasure, a regretless surrender; he lets himself be turned into a toy, a fleshlight, a good hard fuck after a stressful day, a punching bag to relieve pent-up frustration and anger, a baby boy to swaddle and hold and kiss and whose black hair to stroke, a pet to train and reward with sweet things and a belly full of warm food. 

He lives and breathes for Erwin alone. 

-

“Hold up your dress.”

Levi worries at the hem before gripping it and slowly pulling it up to expose himself. He rests his chin against his chest, his head down in mild shame, cheeks flushing bright red with excitement. There’s punishment coming, Levi knows, because while they were out in public, he had pulled Erwin down and whispered hotly in his ear, “I don’t have any panties on.”

Erwin settles back on the sofa, his arms spread out over the top, a paddle in one hand, and he takes Levi in with a hungry, appreciative gaze. The silence stretches on between them into an uncomfortably long moment, and Levi squeezes his eyes shut to keep from fidgeting. 

“I thought you were my good boy,” Erwin finally says. “Do good boys go have lunch with their Daddy and their Daddy’s friends without underwear?”

“No.”

Erwin hums like a disappointed parent. Even though there’s just a few years between them, Levi in his late twenties and Erwin in his early thirties, the tone makes Levi bite his lip. The seriousness of his actions finally dawns on him, the benign danger he’s landed himself in becomes apparent. 

“Were you a bad boy?”

“Yes, Daddy.”

“Think of your rules. What happens to bad boys, my sweet little?”

Levi swallows and sucks in a breath. Very quietly, “They get spanked.”

“They get spanked,” Erwin echoes. “They get laid over their Daddy’s lap and get their ass tanned. Don’t they?”

“They do,” Levi whimpers. He fists the dress hem and swallows again. “Please, Daddy, I just wanted to tease you. Please, I’m sorry.”

“You aren’t, not yet. But you will be.” Erwin pats his thigh.

Levi whines and inches forward. Erwin only watches as Levi gets himself in position, letting go of his dress so that he can peel the tights off before stepping out of them and climbing up onto the sofa. Lifting the dress again, Levi lays himself over the spread thighs, burying his hot face in the sofa cushion.

“What a gorgeous piece of meat,” Erwin croons, one hand coming to rest on the plumpest part of Levi’s bottom. The contact makes him jerk, a small movement that is not unnoticed. “Frightened of your punishment, naughty little boy?”

“Yes, Daddy. Very.”

“You should be,” Erwin murmurs. He takes a handful of the flesh at his mercy and squeezes it, then jiggles it hard enough to draw a shaky breath out of his boy. Like a dying prey consumed by its vulnerability before a predator, Levi goes limp, sinking down on Erwin so that the man can do whatever he wants.

It starts easy. Erwin talks to him as he peppers his backside with a bare hand, bringing up the blood to make Levi more sensitive. Things get quiet with the first strike of the paddle, for just a few seconds. Erwin’s stopped talking to Levi, holding him with a firm hand on the back of his neck, focused on the task of delivering his boy to repentance; Levi’s breathless with the first strike, and when he can suck in air to his chained lungs, he alleviates his desire to squirm by pushing energy into his groan instead.

“Louder,” Erwin demands when Levi tries to bite back on a moan less than a minute later. “Louder, you worthless whore. I want to hear how sorry you are.”

“I’m sorry!” He gasps, trying to rise up but securely held down, fat teardrops springing into his eyes when another blow of the paddle splits through his body like lightning, the thud’s ache a belated thunderclap. There’s no holding back now. If it weren’t for Erwin’s grip on his nape, Levi would crawl out from this and find relief. But he can’t, so he lays here, at the mercy of a sadist who loves to hear how badly everything hurts. Levi fills the apartment with what Erwin wants. “Please, Daddy, it hurts!”

“Please? Are you asking for more?” Erwin taunts. The next blow births stars in Levi’s vision as he pushes against the hand on his nape, fighting it, needing to escape this terrible pain. “No, you don’t get to run away from me, so lay still and  _ take _ it.”

Levi cries out instead, a garbled set of words tripping over each other in his need to relieve some of the pent-up sensation. He can barely breathe, all of his focus shattered by the punishment. But despite that, he wants this, he wants to be good, he wants to give Erwin all of his wretched noises and all the evidence of the pain tearing through his body. 

When it’s finally over, when Erwin finally decides that Levi’s paid the price for his sin from his flesh, Erwin pulls the boy up into a crushingly tight embrace, as if he’s found a great treasure that he never wants to lose, his hands two wide anchors splaying on Levi’s body to hold him close. Levi scurries, throwing his arms around Erwin’s neck, wrapping his legs around his waist despite the way his Daddy’s clothing stings his raw backside. Gentle shushing blows through Levi’s hair as he tucks his face into the curve of Erwin’s neck and heaves out hoarse, wet, wrecked sobs.

“You’re so beautiful like this,” Erwin whispers, kissing the black crown. “Levi, I don’t know what I’ve done in my life to be gifted with you, my boy. My good, beautiful boy. How could anyone have you and give you up? Levi, I never want— I could  _ never _ let you go now that I’ve had you.”

Levi cries harder, too dizzy with endorphins and pleasure from these words. He’s a mess, storm-torn and weeping, but he’s holding steady to this man, this man who gives him what he needs.

“I want to make love to you, Levi. You overwhelm me.”

He shakes his head, “Just fuck me, Daddy.”

“No.” Erwin’s hands come to frame his face and lift it so that Levi has to look at him and see the genuine wonder in his expression, the hunger, the desire. “No, baby,  _ make love. _ You deserve to be cherished. I want to, Levi. Please.”

“Erwin,” Levi murmurs, fresh tears sliding down his face. His words fail him because no one has been this kind to him before. Slowly, he nods. Erwin leans his forehead against Levi’s, their eyes closed as they reach the place where they can both breathe slowly and deeply. 

“I’m going to make love to you now, Levi.”

He nods, doesn’t open his eyes after he’s been set down on the bed, not even when Erwin cups his jaw and begins to kiss him. He doesn’t want to think so he gives in to his carnal desires, opening his mouth as soon as Erwin’s tongue prods at the seam of his lips.

Erwin takes him slow, concentrates on him, their eyes drifting apart only when the pleasure overwhelms. He comes first with a low groan, and Levi chases him, fucking himself just a little further on the spurting cock before reaching his own peak. They cum together, come down together, hands gripping, needing to touch, needing to be as close as possible, insatiable hunger in their fingers rather than in their act of love because they know their time is almost up. Levi cries with the afterglow of his release and Erwin holds him against his chest with delicate kisses to his boy’s neck.

-

Despite not wanting to let desperation taint his final days here, Levi finds himself frenzying, but Erwin cups his cheek and tells him everything he needs to hear to calm his mind. On his last afternoon, Levi goes out with Mike and his girl, just the three of them, just to talk over coffee before saying goodbye, I hope to see you again. He’s seen them several times over the last month, and they have his online contact information, hopeful promises to keep in touch.

When he unlocks the apartment, Erwin is already home, already out of his work clothing. Levi is barely over the threshold when he breaks down, tears streaming down his face, Erwin closing the distance between them in less than a moment to wrap Levi up in his arms.

“Hey, baby,” he sings, so sweet. “Baby…”

“I don’t want to leave,” he mumbles into a chest that he’s bled into plenty of times. 

“It’s only for a little while. You need some time away to recover and think about our relationship.” Erwin squeezes Levi down against him, clearly intending to keep him here as long as he can. “Alright? Just for a little while.”

Logically, he knows this, but his heart refuses to accept this. Still, when it’s time to do laundry and pack, Levi goes through the motions. He can’t think about this, he can’t or else he’ll break down and sob and beg to stay, and he knows he can’t do that either. 

Erwin pulls him from his sullen isolation. Levi has autonomy today, so the hand in his hair doesn’t yank when it pulls his head to the side to plant a kiss on his nape. Sighing out, Levi falls back into ready arms. Erwin has given him so much, and he doesn’t want to let his panic ruin these last hours, so fucking few in number now that Levi can count them between his two hands. He’s got to go back to his pitiful life now, and even though Erwin’s money will keep him from scraping by like he did before renting himself out, Levi can’t imagine going back to living without seeing Erwin every night. They’ll keep talking, of course, while Levi gets the space Erwin thinks he needs. But Levi won’t sleep beside him, eat with him, greet him at the door with a hand wrapping around his throat...

“Relax,” Erwin murmurs, opens his mouth and lays a wet kiss over the first. “I’ve got you. I love you.”

Levi’s a good boy, and he obeys. The confession feels like a steadfast heartbeat around him, and when Levi reciprocates, gives Erwin his vulnerability, something that he cannot explain overtakes him.

Erwin’s got him.

Somehow, it feels like Erwin’s always had him.

-

Levi waits at the baggage carousel for his stuffed animals. All of the clothes Erwin bought him are being mailed, but Levi insisted to bring these so that he would have them immediately. His flight was direct, and he just wants to have small bundles of Erwin here with him to help him sleep. When he inevitably wakes up in the middle of the night, feeling out of place back in his own shitty flat, he wants to take a video of himself humping one and send it to Erwin, because the time difference means Erwin will still be awake. Just the thought makes Levi smile to himself, alone in the crowd.

True to his word, Erwin checks on him all the time, encourages him to leave long messages when he needs to. There’s a lot to process, and it’s only on his second night at home that he realises how truthful that is, but instead of sending his jumbled thoughts to Erwin, he messages Nanaba. Almost immediately, he can see her typing, and she talks with him, offers him advice and insight in a mix of Levi’s language and English.

Levi wants this and Erwin wants this. They’re going to make it work. Neither of them is green, novice, or new; they have a goal, and it will be difficult, but they’re going to reach it together. 

So, they make a new routine. It’s the best they can do, and after a couple months, Erwin gives Levi a date for their reunion.


End file.
